Michelle is 54 years old, and in late 2016, she helped start the Crowns of Courage project by being our first “crownee”.  Here is her story.

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The first time I lost my hair due to chemo, it was no big deal. I was tough and knew I was going to beat this disease. After chemo, I underwent a double mastectomy, followed by numerous surgeries to attempt reconstruction to remove infected and dead tissue. Reconstruction failed, leaving me with a very scarred and  deformed chest. BUT... the cancer was gone. About 1 year later, a tumor was found under my breastbone. More surgery, followed by 36 radiation treatments that left me with burns. A month later, we found that not only was the radiation unsuccessful, but the cancer had spread. I now had to undergo chemo therapy again, along with some pretty potent trial drugs. I figured losing my hair the second time was going to be like the first. I was wrong. I think because of all the surgeries and debilitating effects of chemo, I felt ugly, deformed, and mutilated. I didn't want to go without my wig or breast prosthetics. I couldn't even imagine my husband finding me attractive and certainly didn't see myself that way. 

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Then my friend Dave Burgess, who is the amazing photographer on this project, invited me to be the test subject. He set me up with a wonderful make-up artist. She gave me false eyelashes for the first time. Amanda Gilbert and Steve Stone from Happy Henna did an incredible crown on me, that extended down my back and arms. I couldn't see what they were doing until they were done. When I finally saw the crown, I cried! Now I'm not much of a cryer, but I was totally unprepared for how I felt. It was so beautiful. On the back of of my head, they made a fierce looking bear, which is my spirit animal (strong, courageous, protective, and nurturing) So awesome!I felt beautiful! I left there with a new perspective. Over the coming weeks, people were stopping me and asking me about it and telling me how beautiful I was. This may sound corny, but it literally was a transformative experience! For the first time in a very long time, I felt strong and attractive, it was the boost I needed to continue my fight.

I'm not afraid for people to see how I look and I'm proud of my scars. They are the evidence that I am a fighter and a survivor! 

From the time we are little girls we are bombarded with images of what people think a beautiful women should look like. They photoshop super models... Who can compete?

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Cancer is an ugly and debilitating disease, physically and mentally. I'm a tough person and I know I beating this disease. The last scans showed no sign of cancer, but not everyone is like me. Everyone is different and so is their disease and treatments. Please support these beautiful people including men who are going through this journey.

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