Rukshana

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On a mid November morning in 2016 I stepped out of the hotel shower and noticed something didn’t look the same.  As I explored further, I found a lump in my left breast.  I didn’t think too much of it, as I had been told in the past that I had dense breast tissue and it will not be uncommon for me to find lumps in my breast.  Infact I had been down this path before, that’s how I knew these small facts.  Nonetheless, I felt it was important to get it checked out right away.  I found myself a new primary care physician (since my previous one went MIA) and scheduled the first available appointment.  Once there, I expected  I would be referred for a mammogram.  Of course this was the next step and I was even prepared for them to say they needed to biopsy the spot.  What I didn’t expect is that on the same day of the mammogram, that they would also conduct an ultrasound of two spots and then a biopsy of those found spots.  The comforting pats and questions about my support system led me to believe that the news I was about to get wasn’t going to be good.  A long four days later I was told that I have breast cancer.  It was staged at 2a and triple positive- which I was told was all good.  

Having lived with a rare skin condition and other medical complications throughout life, I thought I was prepared for the medical attention I was going to need. I was determined to fight with everything I had and maintain a positive attitude.  I have a tremendous support system that made this easier to do and most of the time I was able to do just that.  However each leg of the journey brought different challenges and some days it was easier to keep that attitude than others.   

There were several things that have made this journey difficult.  In the midst of learning that I had cancer, I also was forced to make decisions that will forever alter my path.  While life has not lead me down the path of having a family, I now no longer have the option to have biological children.   Every time this has been brought up - it has brought tears to my eyes.    My skin condition has been a curveball for everyone.  Doctors didn’t seem to know why my skin was negatively reacting to the chemo and then again to radiation. Everyone has said, each person reacts differently to treatment, but I don’t think they were prepared for me.  My only hope is that my experience can make it easier for someone else with my skin condition and treatment plan.  

There are some important lessons I have learned will continue to impact me way after my cancer is in remission.  Your journey is your journey - don’t compare to others the good or the bad.  You’re here to learn something.  Don’t believe everything you read on the internet, in fact don’t read anything on the internet.  And most importantly, take one day at a time.  It’s all you can handle anyways, worry about tomorrow when it gets here.  

With all of this, I’m here, I’m living and I’m kicking cancer’s ass.  As of August 31 I completed my last round of radiation.  With the exception of minor treatments until April, I can go back to living a “normal” life.  I am officially cancer free!! I have never let medical conditions hold me back from doing the things in life I want to accomplish, and I won’t let cancer do this either.

Being a part of Crowns of Courage has made an impact on my life in at so many different levels.  Having the henna, makeup and photo shoot was a wonderful experience in and of itself.  But mostly, it has reminded me that positive things can come from not so great things in life.  Sharing this experience with others has made me not feel as alone on this journey.   Crowns of Courage gave me something to be excited about when life wasn’t very exciting.  It also has given me the opportunity to connect with other women who have been touched by the nasty effect of cancer and recognize the strength and beauty, both inner and outer, that people have.